Saturday, April 28, 2007
Housesitting
Our Bishop and his wife had to go out of town for four days so who did they ask to stay with their 14 year old daughter? Nate and I!! They have a beautiful home and it has been really nice to not be in our cramped apartment for a few days. But now I have to make a public apology to my mother for the many nights I made her worry when I was not home. Holly (the bishop's daughter) had about seven friends over last night, which was fine- we ordered pizzas and the girls just sat around and talked (Nate was a little concerned with HOW MUCH talking was going on, I guess his five sisters didn't prepare him for the massive amounts of socializing that teenage girls do). Anyway, Nate and I went upstairs to watch some TV and at about 6:30pm Holly came up and said that she and the girls were "going for a walk". This seemed harmless since they live in a very safe neighborhood but when they had been gone for an hour I started to get a little worried. After an hour and a half I was almost paniking (which I tried to conceal from Nathan so he wouldn't think I was freaking out over nothing). I tried calling Holly's cell phone but she didn't answer- let me again apologize to Mom for all the times I did that- and it was getting dark. All I could think about was the seven sets of parents who would be calling us to find out where their daughters were and what was I going to tell them? Finally, they came home after 2 hours. I resisted the urge to run into the room and question them as to where they had been (Holly later told me they had stopped by a "friends" house which I'm sure means they set out in the first place to visit some boys). All in all, I've decided we are sending our children to boarding school when they become teenagers because that is the only way I'm going to avoid going completely gray with worry. Or maybe I will just send them to live with one of their wonderful Aunts or Uncles :) Now my only concern is what are we going to do tonight? Nate and I have to go out so Holly is home alone- I know we are going to come home to some massive party and boys all over the place! Tell me again why I wanted to do this whole mom thing??
Wednesday, April 25, 2007
Being a Mom
My wonderful sister-in-law Brenna sent me this and I thought I would share it with all of the mothers who have helped shape my own view of what it means to be a mom...
We are sitting at lunch one day when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of "starting a family."
"We're taking a survey," she says half-joking. "Do you think I should have a baby?"
"It will change your life," I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral.
"I know," she says, "no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations."
But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes.
I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable.
I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking, "What if that had been MY child?" That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her. That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die.
I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub. That an urgent call of "Mom!" will cause her to drop a soufflé or her best crystal without a moments hesitation.
I feel that I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood. She might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be going into an important business meeting and she will think of her baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of discipline
to keep from running home, just to make sure her baby is all right.
I want my daughter to know that every day decisions will no longer be routine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that restroom.
However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother. Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that
eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself.
That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give herself up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years, not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs.
I want her to know that a cesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honor. My daughter's relationship with her husband will change, but not in the way she thinks.
I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child. I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find very unromantic.
I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk driving.
I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike. I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or cat for the first time. I want her to taste the joy that is so real it actually hurts.
My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes. "You'll never regret it," I finally say. Then I reached across the table, squeezed my daughter's hand and offered a silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this most wonderful of callings.
We are sitting at lunch one day when my daughter casually mentions that she and her husband are thinking of "starting a family."
"We're taking a survey," she says half-joking. "Do you think I should have a baby?"
"It will change your life," I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral.
"I know," she says, "no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous vacations."
But that is not what I meant at all. I look at my daughter, trying to decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes.
I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will forever be vulnerable.
I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without asking, "What if that had been MY child?" That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her. That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die.
I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive level of a bear protecting her cub. That an urgent call of "Mom!" will cause her to drop a soufflé or her best crystal without a moments hesitation.
I feel that I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood. She might arrange for childcare, but one day she will be going into an important business meeting and she will think of her baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of discipline
to keep from running home, just to make sure her baby is all right.
I want my daughter to know that every day decisions will no longer be routine. That a five year old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's at McDonald's will become a major dilemma. That right there, in the midst of clattering trays and screaming children, issues of independence and gender identity will be weighed against the prospect that a child molester may be lurking in that restroom.
However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother. Looking at my attractive daughter, I want to assure her that
eventually she will shed the pounds of pregnancy, but she will never feel the same about herself.
That her life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. That she would give herself up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years, not to accomplish her own dreams, but to watch her child accomplish theirs.
I want her to know that a cesarean scar or shiny stretch marks will become badges of honor. My daughter's relationship with her husband will change, but not in the way she thinks.
I wish she could understand how much more you can love a man who is careful to powder the baby or who never hesitates to play with his child. I think she should know that she will fall in love with him again for reasons she would now find very unromantic.
I wish my daughter could sense the bond she will feel with women throughout history who have tried to stop war, prejudice and drunk driving.
I want to describe to my daughter the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to ride a bike. I want to capture for her the belly laugh of a baby who is touching the soft fur of a dog or cat for the first time. I want her to taste the joy that is so real it actually hurts.
My daughter's quizzical look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes. "You'll never regret it," I finally say. Then I reached across the table, squeezed my daughter's hand and offered a silent prayer for her, and for me, and for all the mere mortal women who stumble their way into this most wonderful of callings.
Saturday, April 21, 2007
Baby Bump #2
Ok, so I'm starting to wonder if posting a picture of my naked belly every month is normal or creepy but here it is anyway... the 16 week baby bump. I am officially 4 months along and officially liking the second trimester WAY better than the first. I don't think I have gotten that much bigger but you can scroll down and judge for yourselves. The doctor's appointment went just fine, we were actually only in with the doctor for 5 minutes. She walked in, listened to the baby's heartbeat, asked if we had any questions, and left. I was a little disappointed because we had heard from a bunch of people that we could possible have an ultrasound at 16 weeks but the doctor informed us we would be having our one, and only, ultrasound at 20 weeks. This baby better darn well cooperate and show us if it is a boy or a girl because we only have one shot! And I need to start buying stuff :) Other than that I am feeling great, I'm not nearly as tired and all morning sickness and cravings have gone away, I am now able to eat whatever Nate eats. Well, I have to run off and do the errands I have been postponing all day long. By the way, it is a beautiful 75 degrees here today and the sun is shining, maybe we will stay in Illinois after all...
Tuesday, April 17, 2007
20 things I wish for our child...
So I was writing in my baby journal today (I got this journal to keep track of all the eventful things that happen in pregnancy) and I got to a part that asked what my hopes and dreams were for our new baby. I thought I would share with you all my top 20 wishes for our new baby and see if you guys had anything to add that I didn't think of. So here goes (by the way, we have no idea what we are having but I will refer to the baby as a she to make everything easier), I wish for my child...
1. To feel like she belongs.
2. To know that her entire family (both Devlins and Bonds) love her unconditionally.
3. To have life long friends. As I look back on life I often think how nice it would be to have a friend who shared the journey.
4. To know that her Heavenly Father loves her and that her elder brother Jesus Christ gave her the greatest gift ever given because he cares about her, personally.
5. To have a love of books. "My life has been lived among two different worlds, the real world and the fantasy world that I found in my books".
6. To learn to be a good mother, wife, and scholar. It truly is a unique talent to master all three (I certainly haven't).
7. To marry a righteous and loving person in the temple.
8. To have the self confidence to do whatever she puts her mind to.
9. To make the right decisions,not because she is afraid of the consequences, but because she understands the happiness that is found in being a virtuous person.
10. To have her father's metabolism, so she can eat whatever she wants and stay as skinny as he is!
11. To be a better person than her ancestors, each generation should improve upon the last one.
12. And, to look up to her ancestors, I want her to know how amazing the people were that came before her.
13. To know that being liked by the opposite sex is not the most important thing in the world, I don't think Ghandi had many girlfriends!
14. To remember that having good friends is more important than having a lot of friends. Popularity is a game we play where nobody is the winner.
15. To keep her eyes on the path ahead but to also stop and smell the roses from time to time.
16. To graduate from BYU just like her mom and dad.
17. To know that being a teenager stinks but it is something we all go through and most everybody makes it through to the other side without too many permanant scars.
18. To have a sibling that she can share secrets with (like my mom, marcia, and susan do). I never really got that and I think I am missing out on something.
19. To not hold grudges but to easily forgive others and hope that they will forgive her.
20. To live a life that makes her worthy of returning to live with her Heavenly Father again.
Sorry to get all dramatic and emotional on you guys, the boys will probably make fun of my crazy thoughts! I mostly wish that my child will learn from my mistakes and not have to got through any of her own! Hope you liked the list... maybe one day I will actually show it to our child! We have another doctor's appointment tommorow, I have no idea what they are going to do but maybe we will end up with some ultrasound pictures to post on the blog. Love and kisses to all, we think about you all constantly and miss you more!
1. To feel like she belongs.
2. To know that her entire family (both Devlins and Bonds) love her unconditionally.
3. To have life long friends. As I look back on life I often think how nice it would be to have a friend who shared the journey.
4. To know that her Heavenly Father loves her and that her elder brother Jesus Christ gave her the greatest gift ever given because he cares about her, personally.
5. To have a love of books. "My life has been lived among two different worlds, the real world and the fantasy world that I found in my books".
6. To learn to be a good mother, wife, and scholar. It truly is a unique talent to master all three (I certainly haven't).
7. To marry a righteous and loving person in the temple.
8. To have the self confidence to do whatever she puts her mind to.
9. To make the right decisions,not because she is afraid of the consequences, but because she understands the happiness that is found in being a virtuous person.
10. To have her father's metabolism, so she can eat whatever she wants and stay as skinny as he is!
11. To be a better person than her ancestors, each generation should improve upon the last one.
12. And, to look up to her ancestors, I want her to know how amazing the people were that came before her.
13. To know that being liked by the opposite sex is not the most important thing in the world, I don't think Ghandi had many girlfriends!
14. To remember that having good friends is more important than having a lot of friends. Popularity is a game we play where nobody is the winner.
15. To keep her eyes on the path ahead but to also stop and smell the roses from time to time.
16. To graduate from BYU just like her mom and dad.
17. To know that being a teenager stinks but it is something we all go through and most everybody makes it through to the other side without too many permanant scars.
18. To have a sibling that she can share secrets with (like my mom, marcia, and susan do). I never really got that and I think I am missing out on something.
19. To not hold grudges but to easily forgive others and hope that they will forgive her.
20. To live a life that makes her worthy of returning to live with her Heavenly Father again.
Sorry to get all dramatic and emotional on you guys, the boys will probably make fun of my crazy thoughts! I mostly wish that my child will learn from my mistakes and not have to got through any of her own! Hope you liked the list... maybe one day I will actually show it to our child! We have another doctor's appointment tommorow, I have no idea what they are going to do but maybe we will end up with some ultrasound pictures to post on the blog. Love and kisses to all, we think about you all constantly and miss you more!
Thursday, April 12, 2007
I need Help!!
Ok, I am appealing to all my beautiful and experienced cousins, aunts, and sisters-in-law for some help. Evidently, that lovely pregnant "glow" that we get is caused by excess oil in your skin. Unfortunately, this excess oil has led to my skin breaking out like a 15 year old boy! I have no idea what to do! I wash my face constantly, I haven't worn makeup in weeks, and I don't use mosturizer anymore but still my face is covered in pimples. Does anyone know any good skin care products? I am desperate and willing to try anything! I would appreciate any advice you all could give. Thanks a ton...
Wednesday, April 11, 2007
WHAT?!?!
We woke up today to find four inches of snow on the ground! I had to take a picture just to make sure it was real and, of course, I wanted to share my pain with all of you... So here is the view outside our patio (do you all feel sufficiently bad for us now?)
Easter weekend was great. Mom made a killer dinner and I ate enough cheesy potatoes to fill up three pregnant women! We watched the movie Lamb of God with our Young Women and I was bawling by the end of it, nothing nearly creative as Aunt Susie's lessons but the spirit was there and I think a lot of our girls really needed it. I think I have forgotten how difficult it is to grow up in a place where nobody shares your beliefs. I admire my girls for staying strong and standing up for their values.
On a lighter note, I enjoyed reading all about everybody's easter celebrations, I can't wait to have kids so I can experience holidays with them. Nathan suprised me with an easter basket so now we have a TON of candy sitting in our apartment. It was really sweet of him to remember, considering I totally forgot!
A Happy Birthday shout out to Chelsea, I loved reading 100 things about Chelsea. I would just like to set the record straight and let everyone know that I was completely justified in calling the cops! My wonderful cousin chose to wake me and my roommates up at 4:00am by banging a broom on our window! We were scared to death, you should have seen us all huddled in the middle of the apartment calling 911. I don't think I talked to Chelsea for a week after that!
We are keeping Mandy in our prayers, I will send all my good thoughts to Kentucky. I can't imagine being so close to having a baby and just having to wait (I guess I will find out in 6 months!) Please keep us posted on any progress, we want to know when the newest member of the family joins the world!
One last thing, congrats to mom for losing another 3lbs this week. She is doing so well, I'm glad she has made the decision to be healthy. She is an inspiration to all!
Easter weekend was great. Mom made a killer dinner and I ate enough cheesy potatoes to fill up three pregnant women! We watched the movie Lamb of God with our Young Women and I was bawling by the end of it, nothing nearly creative as Aunt Susie's lessons but the spirit was there and I think a lot of our girls really needed it. I think I have forgotten how difficult it is to grow up in a place where nobody shares your beliefs. I admire my girls for staying strong and standing up for their values.
On a lighter note, I enjoyed reading all about everybody's easter celebrations, I can't wait to have kids so I can experience holidays with them. Nathan suprised me with an easter basket so now we have a TON of candy sitting in our apartment. It was really sweet of him to remember, considering I totally forgot!
A Happy Birthday shout out to Chelsea, I loved reading 100 things about Chelsea. I would just like to set the record straight and let everyone know that I was completely justified in calling the cops! My wonderful cousin chose to wake me and my roommates up at 4:00am by banging a broom on our window! We were scared to death, you should have seen us all huddled in the middle of the apartment calling 911. I don't think I talked to Chelsea for a week after that!
We are keeping Mandy in our prayers, I will send all my good thoughts to Kentucky. I can't imagine being so close to having a baby and just having to wait (I guess I will find out in 6 months!) Please keep us posted on any progress, we want to know when the newest member of the family joins the world!
One last thing, congrats to mom for losing another 3lbs this week. She is doing so well, I'm glad she has made the decision to be healthy. She is an inspiration to all!
Tuesday, April 3, 2007
We're Home!
So it has taken me five days to get these pictures from Florida on the blog but we came home and I was too relaxed to do much of anything. I am just now getting back into the swing of things. We had a wonderful time in Florida, I don't remember the last time I was that relaxed. Our experiences at the airport were kind of a nightmare (our flight in Chicago was delayed for 2 hours going to Florida and then we stood in line for 1 1/2 hours in Florida trying to come home!) But other than that the entire trip was great. We stayed at this beachfront hotel that had a pool right next to the beach so Nate could play in the ocean while I lounged by the pool (I was going nowhere near the many jellyfish on the beach). We hit up a few local restaurants and Nathan discovered that he LOVES Florida orange juice (I think he would move there just so he could have a glass everyday). We decided one night that we would go to see a movie, so which one did my husband choose? Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles! I love the five year old in him, it actually was pretty good. Our last night there we went to this great tex-mex restaurant, I don't think they had ever seen anyone so excited for chips and salsa (did I mention that this baby is part mexican?) After all was said and done it was just really nice to spend time with Nathan, kind of like the exotic honeymoon we never had. Also, I wanted to pass on this little tidbit. Since I actually had free time I got to read the first two books in the Great and Terrible series by Chris Stewart and they were wonderful. I gained this whole new perspective on our premortal existence and what we are here for. Thank you to my mother-in-law for recommending the series to me, if you get the chance to read it, I would. So now we are back and I have started counting down the days until school is over. Hopefully it will go by really quickly :)
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