When I was in high school I used to tie myself up in knots over all the little things that upset me in life. It got so bad that I began having panic attacks and went to the doctor for some help. He told me to keep a list of all the things that were bugging me and writing it down really helped me get over it. So I am currently going through a bad bout of anxiety and I thought you all may be interested in my current "upset list" (yes- I realize I have a HUGE ego). A disclaimer- this is not meant to make anyone feel bad so please don't call me hysterically crying- MOM THIS MEANS YOU!!
I'm upset because:
1. I going to have to pay $4.00 a gallon for gas this summer
2. My son woke up last night at 3am and cried for an hour- what??
3. I miss our friends in Chicago and knowing that I could call Hilary and Laura and go to lunch and have an hour of adult conversation
4. I miss my parents
5. I'm saddened by the tv shows I've been seeing lately- do I have to be reminded that my son could be kidnapped and I could be raped at any time?
6. I go to Target and all I can buy is more tshirts and jeans when I want to buy all the frilly dresses and cute skirts
7. I want David Archuletta to win American Idol and I think David Cook is going to.
8. My teams ALWAYS lose- the past four NCAA Football and Basketball champions have been the team I rooted against and don't even get me started on the Super Bowl
9. I want white cabinets in my new kitchen and I have to have stained ones
10. Lincoln gets grumpy and gets a fever and I think- finally we're teething- and then NOTHING HAPPENS!!
11. I can't go to my cousins wedding this summer and I want to, mostly because I know this will be the last excuse to see my cousins and aunts and uncles for a very long time
12. I hate money and bills- and everything just keeps getting more expensive
13. I want to buy a home but we won't for another 3 or 4 years
14. Rascal Flatts didn't play the song I really wanted to hear (but still a great concert)
15. The Pottery Barn catalog gives me unrealistic expectations of what I want my home to look like
So if you have made it to the end of this truly depressing post I applaud your fortitude and ask you to forgive me my weak moments of ungratefulness. We do have a great life and are lucky to be healthy and happy. Thanks for letting me vent- now you can scroll down and read my other, much happier post about our lives lately. :)
4 comments:
See, didn't that make you feel better getting those written down? Many years ago a friend of mine told me about a book that really changed her life and how she looked at things- it's called "Simple Abundance" and it teaches you about keeping a "gratitude journal". I loved it and found that it helped me to focus on the good things- even tiny ones- and it didn't leave as much room for the sad things! And if that doesn't help you could always go get an ice cream cone and sit in the park with Lincoln- that works the very best!
I know you so well - when you get overwhelmed, you start to get your anxiety going and then you start thinking way too much and then you get more anxious and then seems even more black. Try to see things for what they are - somethings life stinks, but the reality of it is that you have a lot to be thankful for and should try to remember that when you get down. We love you and miss you so much.
That is such a good idea to write it all down. I'll have to start doing that so Ky doesn't have to listen to me complain about everyhing. But on a good note, you're healthy and you have a beautiful family who I'm sure love you so much!!
Nothing says that you and I can't go to lunch over the phone. We'll just both go to Subway and call each other. (Notice I didn't mention Potbelly's for fear you'd have to add that to your Upset List.)
We miss you a lot, too. And, don't worry, most of those items on your list are happening to us moms in Chicago, too!
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