Lincoln doesn't fall asleep on his own. Now, I have heard all the advice about "training" your newborn to fall asleep by laying them down in bed when they were partially awake so that they can learn the fine art of going to sleep by themselves. Prior to actually having a child I fully subscribed to these ideas but then Lincoln actually came into the world. My sweet baby boy was not the quiet child I had pictured in my mind, instead I was handed a big sack of crying and fussing. The colic kept him crying for hours at a time and the only way to calm him down enough so he would sleep was to rock him until he finally dozed off. So the first 12 weeks of Lincoln's life came and went and now the colic is gone and my baby has no ability to go to sleep on his own. Now, I have no problem rocking him to sleep and then putting him in his crib- this is pretty much our routine now. The problem is that Lincoln is also a baby that wakes up 45min into every nap (something about sleep cycles). Since he has no ability to put himself to sleep, he also has no ability to put himself BACK to sleep when he awakens. I have told our pediatrician about this problem and her advice was to let him cry for 20min before going in to comfort him. We tried this, he cried for an hour and still wasn't sleeping. Normally I would perservere (sp?) but for three reasons I have not been able to. First- my husband cannot stand the sound of crying babies- I think he is ten times more sensitive than a normal human being. I can only let Lincoln cry for about 5min before Nathan is asking when I am going to pick him up. Second- we live in an apartment and for fear of being a bad neighbor, I just can't let my child scream for an hour at 3am- I would have the entire building hating me! Third- in a week we are moving in with my in-laws (who I love) and the thought of subjecting them to nights of a baby crying just seems like cruel and unusual punishment. Lincoln has yet to actually cry himself to sleep so my question for all of you out there is this...
Do babies actually cry themselves to sleep?
Should I let him cry it out and risk my husband,neighbors, and in-laws hating me?
Has anyone ever taught their child how to fall asleep on their own without letting them cry it out?
Any and all advice would be appreciated...
6 comments:
i am by no means an expert, but i think if you just let him cry for 15 minutes then go comfort him, and keep doing that for 20 minutes and on is how we finally got kyle to sleep, but i was just like you so it did not happen until he was 11 months old.i think that now that he is about old enough to start learning. nate will just have to deal, it will so good for Lincoln to sleep...but, he is your kid, if it feels too bad, don't do it. if he is ok, go for it....
Ok - so here are my experiences so far with this problem: Lauren I rocked her to sleep till she was over 2 years old. We started it not her so we had to deal with it. Tyler not the same. Finally at 6 months I made him cry himself to sleep. I think the record of waking up with him was 19 times in one night. (What is the point of sleeping?) By this time, he was old enough to figure things out. Bryan would wear ear plugs, I would sit outside his room and cry while he cried cause I felt like a terrible mom. Finally he caught on and was a great sleeper after that. It did take several days, you are trying to break a bad habit and start a new one. Matthew never caught on to the crying it out thing. I just dealt with it and by about a year starting sleeping good! I would say since you are going to be moving to a new place wait to start something new till after you are settled. So don't make him cry it out till you get to mom and dads. They had 7 kids - they understand. They won't care.
I'm going to send you an email on this one...
My advise for what it is worth is not to let him cry. He needs you and the reality is that before very long, he will not need you and that is a bummer. So enjoy the time with him right now. Regarding getting him to sleep. Don't do anything right now. Go into him and comfort him. When you get to California and get settled, then you can start a new routine. I agree with Nate. A baby, in my opinion, should not cry for 20 minutes. That is just too upsetting. I raised you with out crying and you did just fine. Remember, my mothers favorite saying : This too will pass.
Hey- It's your cousin Melissa. I know I only have one...so how good could my advise be?? I really think that some babies are just better at "self-soothing". With Izabelle I tried hard to give her things she could comfort herself with. She is a thumb sucker though, and that really helps. However, she also has snuugglies (really soft silky things). I have them with us when we nurse and cuddle so that they smell like me. She has them all the time in the crib and car seat. She LOVES them now. When she does wake from a sleep cycle she plays and snuggles with one and goes back to sleep. That doesn't solve the crying thing. I was REALLY lucky...the longest she cried was 13 min. My fav advice came from Dr. Sears (The Baby Book), don't let them cry. Babies need comfort and stabilty. He actually believes that babies have a 4th trimester in which they have to get used to NOT being in the womb. His book really helped me. In the end, you have to decide for you. The hubby definetly needs ear plugs though! :)
I love Melissa. Do not let my Bubbie cry
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